After a procrastinating and creative block for months, I can finally offer new content to this blog. Hurrah! I was supposed to post another piece of content, but I had this dream that I wanted to make a story.
I had recurring dreams of tsunamis since last year, but this one was long and vivid. My cousin Pinky even voiced out her amazement that I could dream something like a movie.
Since dreams can easily be forgotten, I decided to write this particular dream and post it here. Just a disclaimer, I supplied a lot of made-up timelines and characters to fill in gaps that usually happen in dreams. Enjoy!
There are some moments that I could recall clearly, for example, I could still remember the exact details of the four white candles that were lit on the altar by my auntie, and there are some that are vague especially… about him. You might question why, when it should be the most important thing in this story that I should remember. But it was like a dream, or it happened to someone else. Maybe your mind will run differently when you’re already dead?
I guess you can call me, specifically, an angel. When I look down at my hands I could see that they are transparent with a slight golden glow, and I definitely feel light as air. I could cruise, quite easily, in the wind and I take pride in my wings that can carry me anywhere I want.
But enough about my current circumstances, you're here to listen about another story, a story that begins when I was still alive….
When I was a student, I can’t remember what year or which school I attended, everyone had talked about our field trip to the famous weather control station. Yes, that’s correct, “control”. In my time, controlling the weather was possible, and it was a great blessing to humankind, as the weather became so much unpredictable and merciless. Let’s call the weather station ZEUS, the Greek sky, and weather god.
I sensed the elation of my classmates, and I almost couldn't control my excitement as we rode our school bus. The ZEUS building loomed over us, and we were in awe of its grandeur. A tall and wide skyscraper with various satellites, antennas, transmission towers, and other thingy mobob on top, it looked like a cluttered hat of a gray giant. We were greeted enthusiastically, and we sat for a brief presentation about the station. We then had a tour around various departments led by a beautiful, I guess a meteorologist, scientist? Let’s stick to scientists since technically meteorologists are scientists. She was wearing a gray dress uniform, spectacles, and an ID stamped with the ZEUS logo. When we reached the very top of the building the pretty scientist proudly explained that it was where the magic happens. There were many monitors, meteorologists wearing their grey uniforms, maps of the word, and plenty of beeping equipment.
The pretty scientist explained that we visited them at the perfect time. There was a typhoon coming and we will have the chance to see how they divert the typhoon away from our city and into the ocean. Did I forget to say we live on an island? Not a small one though, since our population reached up to 500,000 people.
Have you heard of the saying:
“When tragedy strikes, it feels like it's in slow motion”
If you haven’t then, you heard it first from me.
Suddenly, the world seemed to shake so violently, (I later found out that it reached a magnitude of 8.2). As we were on the topmost of an 80-floor building, of course, you will sense it more. What made us afraid was not because of the damage that might have caused the ZEUS building, since they say it’s state of the art and you may experience the shake, but it will not cause any damage to the building itself (Which I attest was true, but still a weird invention. Why not stop the shaking altogether?), but with the ear-splitting noise that was now echoing and the red flashing lights that blurred our visions. Everyone was in chaos; the scientists were shouting about a failed command due to the abrupt earthquake and some of my classmates were panicking in fear. A piece of equipment or machine was badly damaged and somehow adding the upcoming typhoon that can no longer be diverted, and the aftereffects of the earthquake, there was 100% of a tsunami.
The next thing I remember I was sprinting home, calling for my mother. She was packing, the news has already reached our small part of the island. I grabbed my backpack and shoved extra clothes and food. I can hear people shouting outside. I grabbed my mother’s hand, we ran, and the huge wave was on our heels.
I thought to myself, how can we outrun this, my mother was 71 years old, and I didn’t bother to learn to swim (my father died at sea, maybe that caused a phobia).
I couldn’t understand my memory of this, but I recalled we were running on water now and headed to the highest building on our island, the Yume Hotel. It sat on a cliff and had 250 floors. It was a few miles away from our house, I could barely see its white and blue walls.
My memory skipped, and we were submerged in water, and then I was shivering in a bed. I turned to my other side and saw my mom was in the bed with me, sleeping and wrapped in a blanket. I sat up and saw that we were in a beautifully furnished room. Did we make it to the hotel? I glanced around and saw another bed on my left, occupied by a person who was also sleeping. I couldn't tell who it was since the blanket was up to his/her head and only a few black hairs were peeking out. I stood up, still wrapped in a blanket, crossed the room, and open the door. We were in room 17. So, we did reach the hotel!
I silently closed the door, telling myself not to forget our room number, and started to walk through the elegant hall. There were people everywhere! Some were wet like me in blankets, a lot were crying, others were busy looking for supplies or family members and the rest sat on the floor or borrowed beddings staring in space in total shock.
Somehow, I made my way to the hotel’s chapel (I forgot what floor), I saw in amazement my auntie (who was very religious) was lighting four white candles on the altar. We greeted one another and were glad to see each other safe. I asked about my uncle and cousins, my auntie hang her head in her grief.
Another memory skip and my mom and I were sitting on chairs, eating breakfast, our feet submerged in water. We were in the hotel’s dining hall and since it was on the lower floor, water got through. But the water wasn’t too deep, it was only up to my ankles. We could hear the hard spattering of heavy rain and the harsh winds outside our small haven.
Memory skip and I was looking outside a balcony, my city submerged in water. I then heard a woman crying. I didn't turn to her but in the corner of my eye I saw that she had golden hair, I heard her speaking to her husband. She was worried about their unborn child who has a heart condition. How will she deliver her baby safely when there are no longer hospitals? As if it was by a miracle, a doctor heard them as well and volunteered his services.
...
Angels sail back to God on the sea of joy. - Terri Guillemets
The next time I saw the couple, they had a baby boy. We were standing on the edge of the cliff, there was still a lot of water, it was receding too slowly. This is just one of the destructive effects of uncontrolled natural calamities, it’s been months, yet the ocean seemed too close. I was behind them as I saw the mother pull out a hard-boiled egg from her pocket. On our island, we have a superstition that if we offer a hard-boiled egg to the ocean at sunrise, the sea angels will grant a wish.
I found out that the boy may not live long because of his condition. I felt their sadness more now than before for I lost my mother at this point in time.
Somehow as the mother placed the egg on her baby’s tiny hands, it was as if my spirit left my body, and I was in the water, my head barely above the waves, looking straight at the family. I clearly saw the mother’s face, eyes full of tears, and the baby playing happily at the egg like a toy.
I thought to myself “Was I imagining things?” I sensed the baby’s eyes, which are the color of clear blue skies, on me as he looked down in the water. He giggled and his hand that was not holding the egg opened and closed as if giving me an invitation to come closer. A few seconds later, they dropped the egg and with an outstretched I caught it.
With a blink, I was back to my body, and I found myself slowly walking towards the mother. I heard myself saying “I’m a match to your son. If anything happens to me, I will gladly donate my heart to him.” I don’t know what made me say it, but I know it was true, that I’m a compatible donor.
I have no idea when or how I died, but I guess my wish in giving my heart to the baby boy came true. Through my last glimpse of consciousness, I heard the mother’s voice saying “Don’t you ever forget her name little one, you’re alive now because of her.”
…
The reason I love the sea I cannot explain, it’s physical. When you dive you begin to feel like an angel. It’s a liberation of your weight. - Jacques-Yves Cousteau
“Ellie”
I heard someone calling. A painful thumping in my chest and a heart beating. I know something was wrong with this heart. Although I didn’t have a body, I felt excruciating pain and longing…intense longing… I opened my eyes for the first time in a long while and teary eyes, as blue as the sky, stared back at me.
Those eyes widened in shock “I…I knew it! I knew angels are real!” a young boy, with blond hair wearing a red jersey jacket exclaimed. “You’re…” he hesitated staring at me, drinking me in “You’re Ellie, right? My mother always said you are my guardian angel.”
Is that my name then? Who is this young man? Do I know him?
As if in a trance, I brought up a glowing hand to my heart and the boy mirrored my action. I don’t know why he is familiar to me but…
Maybe it was because my heart beats in his.
He was standing on a ledge and a ruined tall white/blue building behind him. A gust of wind blew the boy's hair away from his face, and it was only then I noticed that I was looking down at him. I was floating in midair, the rough ocean beneath me.
“Why are you here?” I said, discovering that I can talk. It was a dangerous place for anyone to be in, his feet were on the very edge. I could see jagged rocks and it was 20 feet drop to the water.
The boy diverted his gaze and focus his attention on the rising sun behind me. “My mother died today.”
This is how I first met him, Liam Hardisson, after fourteen years ….
I couldn’t often stay very long with Liam, I was always pulled by other people’s needs, sorrows, and desperations. However, he was the only one that I get to share both sad and happy moments. I was there when he buried his mother when his football team won the regional championships, his first day in college, his first heartbreak when his dad was diagnosed with terminal heart disease and then died after just a year. (These are just a few that I can remember) I watched him grow from an anxious boy to a young confident man.
One of my weirdest memories of him was when he showed a gold urn, saying that his family kept my ashes. It was disconcerting to learn that I had once had a body and now it’s inside a small jar. It made me wonder why no one else claimed it, though I didn’t ponder about it for long. The world has changed when I was gone. Even the island where Liam lived, where I once lived. As far as I can reminisce, houses were built on green grass, not in black dead and compact earth. There was a certain gloom in the air that was not there when I was alive. I hoped that with me here, I could bring a little happiness back. It was our duty, according to the few I met who are like me.
When Liam finished college, he said that he finally found the courage to tell me that he had fallen in love with me… It was there I knew that I need to leave. I can’t tell you honestly if angels can love, but I always have a soft spot for Liam. When I’m called somewhere else, I’m always eager to go back to him. His sadness would affect me greatly and I try my very best to comfort him. I revel in his happiness like it was my personal sun. I was determined to shield him from further pain. I understand that I shouldn’t favor any human, and this isn’t good, humans- Liam cannot love someone only he can see.
I left without saying goodbye, a clean break, as they say. But I often watched at a distance with a heavy heart. He cried for me for many years.
...
Peace is the first thing the angels sang – John Keble
When he met his wife, he appeared happier, and more so at the birth of his son. It was hard not to show myself when his wife left him devastated and their sickly son for another man. When his son turned 2 years old, it was discovered that he had the same heart problems as his father and grandfather.
I watched him, at the cliff where we first met. His heart and my heart in despair, his son lying on a hospital bed dying. I heard him pray to God, any god who would listen to save his son. I grieve for him and his little boy. If I could have given my heart again, I would. I heard him whispering my name repeatedly while tears spilled freely from his eyes.
I then felt a strong tug and a whisper of command. As I blinked, I was in a corridor with white walls that are painted with cartoon animals. I was pulled towards Room 6 and there I found a little boy with golden hair lying in a metal bed, his eyes were closed but I knew it was the color of blue skies. His small frame was covered with a white linen blanket and was weighted down with several tubes and machines. His heart beating erratically.
I know that if I do this, I can never see Liam or his son again. This was the sacrifice I have to make if I want to save this little boy. I drew closer. The boy’s forehead furrowed showing his pain and discomfort even on his drugged induced sleep. I placed my hand on the boy’s heart and then something was being pulled from my chest. It was bizarre but took only a few seconds, and when I pulled away, I was empty. I could no longer feel anything. No joy, not even relief in the knowledge that I saved Liam’s son, my last gift to him.
I was permitted to say my final farewell. I returned to Liam. He was still there, on his knees now, his strength had finally left him.
I appeared before him, just as I did when he first called me. “I thought you’ve become stronger than this.” For I know he was on the verge of doing the thing he tried to do at age 14.
He looked up startled, “You came, “his voice hoarse “ I know you would come for me.” He forced a painful smile.
“This is the last time I am able to see you,” I said. This was supposed to hurt, our final goodbyes, but I was apathetic, it was as if I left all my emotions in the room with painted walls.
Liam’s face crumpled and fresh tears flowed down from those mesmerizing blue eyes. “No, please don’t leave me again. My son… my son will leave me soon. I will have no one left. I will do anything. Please don’t go.”
“You will have your son.” my voice cold, unfeeling.
“What?” Noticing the chill in my comment. “What happened to you? Why are you so cold when you know my son is dying?”
“Have you no faith in miracles anymore?"
"Go to him and you will see. “
There was uncertainty in his expression, but his eyes were slowly showing signs of hope. “I… You are always my miracle Ellie. If…if this is truly our last meeting, know that you will never be forgotten. I don’t know what I did to deserve these miracles and I will thank the Lord every day for the rest of my life for sending you to me.”
He tried to grasp my hands, but it went through for I had no flesh. He gave me one last longing gaze before turning around to go to his son.
…
When I try to remember him now, his face is a blur, and the sound of his voice has been drowned by the millions of cries for help. I couldn't even remember the shape of his blue eyes. Maybe this needed to happen so that angels, especially those who are able to keep the passion in their hearts, will not feel the pain for so long. In another few years I know I will forget about him entirely.
That’s why I write. Even if all my memories of him will be erased, at least I have proof that he did exist. That my death and sacrificing my emotions, the last link of my humanity, for his son was not in vain. And, at one point,
I loved and was once loved.
Liam Elli Hardisson Jr. became the founder of ZEUS 2.
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