"Don't. worry your pimples will be gone when you're and adult" concerned family members, friends, and even, occasionally, total strangers (which is always an awkward situation) had said to my teen to young adult self many, MANY times.
This is one of the worst lie ever! Why universe?
I had just come out of a four-week emotional roller coaster because of these stubborn, spawn from hell acne!
Before we go on, I would like to clarify that I am no way an expert and everything in this article is from my experience. I am writing this to share my thoughts and don’t have the intention of giving any advice because after what I have been through, I have learned that a well-meaning advice could result to a complete disaster. I’m also going to reveal the real names of the products I have used in the past because for one thing I’m not sponsored or affiliated to any of the companies I might mention, and second I’m only sharing the truth on what I have encountered while using their products, but this doesn’t mean the same effects will happen to you if you do decide to try them in the future.
Now let’s start from my teen years. I consider pimples as an annoying but a normal occurrence as a passage of adulthood. A painful plus one to the monthly red tides and “I want to die” stomach cramps. Pimples and acne have been used interchangeably, but they are quite different. The difference between acne and pimples is that acne is a disease and pimples are one of its symptoms (healthline.com) A pimple is usually a singular infected bump, while acne is the presence of several pus-filled breakouts spread across the skin. If you are experiencing frequent breakouts, you probably suffer from acne. (bioclarity.com)
At the age of seventeen I went on my first appointment with the dermatologist. I had an acne breakout that left my face so red I looked like a tomato. Having this and being an introvert to boot, did not improve my confidence level. I was given toners, creams, a new regime and undergone a Diamond Peel procedure. Boy that hurt. A hurt that makes you tear up uncontrollably. A hurt that make your knees weak afterwards. I might be exaggerating, but this is how my teen self remembers it.
The treatment and regime worked for a time but after a while I got tired of buying my dermatologist’s brand name, only available at one location, products. I’m not against self-promotion, every clinic does that. However, logistics wise, I went to college in another city across an ocean and buying them was ripping my pockets empty. Mid-college I decided to stop the regime and happily my acne did not come back.
Fast forward, I graduated, and I was a career woman. I had a few pimples here and there (pre-menstruation). I tried plenty of home remedies and I made myself believe” to try and try again” so that I could find the best products (?) that are compatible for my skin type. Here’s a list of what I have tried in the past:
1. Baking Soda- Harsh on the skin especially if not measured properly. Very drying and stings.
2. Apple Cider- Expensive, especially here in my country. The smell could disturb a family member. Must dilute properly with water or it will sting.
3. Egg White- Ugh the smell and the weird looks you’ll get especially if you add oats. An easy DIY for a disease infected zombie costume. But you’ll be refreshed, and your face feels tighter after washing. There is a danger triggering allergies though and this did NOT help with my acne.
4. Ice- Aah ice. It helps numb the pain and with the redness. Every morning, before going to work and putting on my make up, I would grab an ice cube and gently massage it on my face. Aah, the bliss cool feeling was so wonderful that I want to live somewhere that would snow all the time.
5. Different beauty soaps/ toner/ cream marketed as “anti-acne”, “for sensitive skin, “dermatology tested”, “for oily skin”, etc. -Hmm. I still believe that there is a compatible over-the counter products for you, but oftentimes, it comes with a great risk.
I was introduced by a friend to use Beauche (not sponsored). It comes in a set of soap, skin toner, clarifying solution, rejuvenation cream, exfoliating cream and age eraser cream and ALLELUJAH! It works miracles. I finally thought I found a match in heaven. My face was so flawless and glowing I got so many compliments and of course as a loyal user I happily shared my experience.
For three happy years I religiously used this product with happy results…and then I noticed a pimple here…a pimple there. Pimples that became mild acne. I don’t know, if it’s because I was stressed out by work. I was recently promoted, and everything had been in chaos (details are in my blog on Career: Me After Work Experience) or was it because I was getting older and I’ll just put all the blame on hormones?
Through my extensive research in google. I later found out that facial toners/creams etc. are like medicines. Medicines used in the long run will make our body immune thus its stops being effective or we need to have higher dosage.
It felt like I was breaking up with a loyal boyfriend. "It's not you, it's me. It's the fault of my immune face! And the search for the next miracle cream started again...
I tried BL Cream, for two months as suggested by my uncle who said this was used by my cousin who had similar problems. Apparently, acne runs on both sides of my family tree. I used it on an off as the instructions has said that I can only use it consecutively for two weeks, then have a few weeks off the cream before using it again. This, along with hot compress (dip a soft clean cloth in a semi-hot water), my pimples became less and less.
The cold months came, and my mother’s sister and her family came for a pre-holiday visit. My cousin excitedly shared to my mother and me about her new franchising local skincare business named SkinPotions. It looked promising and the reviews are good. Not 100%, but of course there is no such thing as a cure all.
With the guidance of my cousin and her two pink assistants, I bought and tested the following: Melon Berry Soap, Snowberry Cream, Tomato Serum and she gave me a free Acne Pie Soap (which I used first rather than the Melon Berry Soap). A whooping P700 in all.
The packaging was eye catching, pink and girlie. Mirroring those kawaii Japanese skincare products that require 7 plus steps. They smelled heavenly and I really, REALLY had high hopes.
After a week, no effect. Then came the second week and…it pretty much went downhill from there. It wasn’t just a pimple or two… Nodulocystic Acne was later the term given to me by my new dermatologist. Inflamed, painful, sensitive to touch GIANT DEVILS!
By the mid-second week I have contacted my cousin and sent her pictures. She in turn sent it to SkinPotions. I was advised not to worry because it was normal. They call it the “purging stage” that would take 2-3 weeks. I continued to use the products and I think I was also sent I yellow green, pimple target serum called “Smooth” for free from my cousin. I was able to use it once.
And third week came, it gotten worst. I had my first break down and I contacted my cousin again and sent her pictures. I told her that I already wanted to stop because my whole face, especially my cheeks were covered with so much pimples. I began to hate looking at the mirror.
SkinPotion asked me if I have allergies and I told them I’m a little lactose intolerant. They said to stop using the Tomato serum and the Snowberry cream because I might be allergic to them and only use the Acne Pie Soap.
I followed their instructions…
I became obsessed with my face. Every morning when I wake up, I look at my face closely for about fifteen minutes or more, trying to compare the mountain of acne now from yesterday. Then I do it again before I go to bed. I kept asking my friends if they think it’s finally healing. I wore medical mask to work and won’t go out during weekends. I became a hermit and the cycle keeps on going… It was tiring.
After the end of the third week I couldn’t find any results and I decided to put a stop of this self-torture. When I got over another break down, I told my cousin that I don’t want to do it anymore and sent her my last updated pictures. Pus…was already coming out of those mountains and my pillows where covered by spots of blood. SkinPotion’s last advice to me was to switch to their other soap product, Lemon Shake, to dry out the acne and to use it with mild soap or cleanser like Dove or Cetaphil. And that was it. No apologies for making my life hell.
I told my cousin I will switch to just Dove because I don’t want to use their products anymore (I didn’t say the last part to her). I used it for three days, but I got tired of the pain and the pus and feeling ugly. Even though I prayed really hard not to go the dermatologist because I know my pockets will suffer and I’ll be undergoing painful procedures. In the end, I couldn’t think of any other way. I was too scared to find my own remedies because I might make it worst.
My dermatologist asked what products I had used, and I told her everything. I asked her “Doc, do you know about SkinPotions?” She gave me a knowing smile and had a glint in her eyes. She answered “Yes, I know about it.” In a noncommittal tone that made me wonder if I wasn’t her first patient who had problems with their products. She gave me a new skincare regime and oral medications. As expected, my wallet was considerably feeling lighter.
I recently met with my best friend. I told her about her everything. My worries, my struggles and the hopelessness I felt. And she said not to stress out too much, it could be worst right?
Let's face it, not everything revolves around me and my face. I felt very selfish.
However, I can't give what I don't have. If I don't have the confidence to even go outside then I don't have have the courage to save the world. Again, it sounds selfish to my ears but we are living in the world where physical attributes way more than skin deep, a fault in our society.
The antibiotics did not make miracles happen. I wasn’t healed in an instant. I still had days when I face the mirror crying. I’m still healing and taking another set of medication for the next six months. It’s a long process. And as my dermatologist had said:
"It needed to get worse before it becomes better."
Am I angry with my cousin since it was her product that got me into this mess? No, it was a choice I made. That’s why trying over the counter products comes with a great risk. You can’t blame your AVON lady if your allergic to their foundations. I’m not even sure if you can sue a small skincare company. I’ll update you on that. This not to scare you in buying that buy one take one 750g lotion in your local department store, I just want you to be very careful. Remember, I was the unfortunate 1% that was allergic to SkinPotions.
You are not alone. There are other people who are suffering with acne. Who suffers the pain, the frustration and the financial crisis. There will be depressing times and you need to find someone or something to take your mind off things. I choose writing.
If you are reading this and you're suffering acne like me. If you are feeling lonely, sad or frustrated go ahead and get in touch. Sometimes a simple assurance can be just a thing for you not to lose your head.
Comments