I was inspired by the saying “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade”. Lemons are associated with experiencing “sourness” and or difficulty in life. Thus, when life throws out hard to swallow challenges, we turn them into “lemonade”, meaning we try to make something good out of a bad situation. You can’t make sweet lemonade without a handful of lemons (don’t forget to add water, honey or sugar).
But what if life gives you truckloads of apples instead?
Apples in Greek mythology symbolize abundance, wisdom and joy. Hera, queen of the gods of Olympus was gifted with some apple trees, that bore golden apples, by the earth mother Gaia as a wedding present.
Apples are often sweet when eaten on its own, and still sweet when you make apple juice with it. (Apple pie is super yummy too)
You might be wondering, then wouldn’t it be nice to always experience joy and don’t go through pain or difficulties or any worries?
My cousin Jeffrey had died of cardiac arrest at the age of forty-eight a week prior to this post. To set things straight, no it wasn’t because of Covid19.
But now, O Lord, you are our Father; we are the clay, and you are our potter; we are all the work of your hand. Isaiah 64:8 ESV
I had just finished a Zoom meeting for my part time job when I thought of writing this blog. We were grouped into teams and share our answer to the question: What’s the most difficult thing that happened in your life and how did you overcome it? One member, Mark, shared that his father, an OFW for 12 years and the sole breadwinner of five kids, experienced stroke two years ago, leaving their family broke. They lost their house, Mark’s younger siblings had to stop going to school and his mother was constantly on the verge of depression. Mark was the eldest, he felt helpless because he couldn’t give much support as he wasn’t earning enough. This didn’t stop him though, and when he joined the team this year, he put all his effort to be able to reach his goals to support his family. He reflected that it wasn’t easy to pick up the pieces, but it helped keep him motivated to aim higher with his career, to invest and above all, to appreciate his father’s sacrifices for their family over the years.
Another, Ann, said that her 59-year-old father-in-law was kidnapped a year ago, no news of him until now and they suspected him to be dead. She said it was harder not knowing anything and it would be more bearable if they knew that he already died because at least he will no longer be suffering. Ann told us that it made her value her time spent with her family because anything can happen. You can be kidnapped and never see them ever again.
I thank the heavens that the time allotted for sharing run out before it was my turn because honestly speaking, I was ashamed of myself of what I was about to share and comparing it to my teammate’s stories, it now sounded too petty in my head.
I’m almost at the end of my years in my “20’s” and looking back to what I did, the decisions I made, the experiences I had, I never really had much walls to climb and I know some might chastise me and say how lucky I am, but I DO want the lemons.
Pain, sufferings, experiences mold a person, shape their characters as a potter molds his clay.
We find and even exceeds our limitations when our strength, faith and hope are tested. Ever wonder why Lady Gaga creates such wonderful music? (I have listened to Rain on Me a million times already and maybe listening to it while writing this). Not only is she talented and put her heart and soul to her craft, but she draws inspiration to the heartaches and trials she had in the past. That’s why her collab and friendship with Ariana Grande makes sense since she and Ari had felt the same pain. They both understood the purpose of misery and accept it. Listen to the songs of artists like Taylor Swift, Katy Perry, Ed Sheeran, Shawn Mendez etc. (only listing present songwriters I like to be relatable). They write about love both lost and found, sorrow, hopelessness, regret longing and sadness. And when they do write a more upbeat music, we as listeners feel their relief and appreciation of finally finding joy after going through hell.
And I want that for myself. Well, I’m not a songwriter or a singer, but I want to LIVE and not just simply being alive and I want to be inspired! I think that’s why I created my website because the way I live right now, I feel STUCK and writing makes me feel I have accomplished something (But fighting procrastination thoughhhh). I do hope I have a bigger audience so that we can chat our miseries away, but I guess it will take time. So, to the readers that lost their way here, or click on my rigorous effort of social marketing. Hello and welcome 😊
Let me tell you a little about myself so you would know why the heck I’m saying these things (reading back I have a very long intro, sorry). I’m an only child, my father died when I was young and you might know from above I’m in my late 20’s. I worked in a bigger and busier city for five years but decided to go back to my more rural and laid back hometown because my mom begged me to. I’m single (yes, what a big shocker), I live in my childhood home with my mom, I have a job (which I’m grateful), I’m a book worm, anime addict (yes, I’m a grown woman, sue me for liking anime!), an introvert by heart, I have never been drunk or smoke (or do drugs), and that’s it. See the problem there? No?
The reasons I told my mother why I wanted to go to abroad, specifically in Canada (a dream I never thought of dreaming), is because first, I want to live independently and go back to school and second I want to explore new things and challenge myself. I wish to discover new aspects of myself, get a taste of a different culture and yes, maybe finally finding “the one”. I’m unhappy and frustrated. I keep telling myself that I should appreciate the protected life I have, I should be happy that I have a job, although unfulfilling, and be grateful for what I have now: friends, family, a home, etc. But still, every day I pray that I want something more. Very selfish of me, right? Other’s would have loved to be in my shoes, but I guess all humans rarely feel contentment.
My mother said, I’m not strong enough to go to abroad on my own. How would I know if I don’t try? I even kind of started blaming her for being too overprotective even now. I keep telling her that I’m a grown woman, but I can’t feel that I have done something worthwhile and still I can’t make my own decisions without asking for her permission! I started regretting going back home and I’m afraid that I might grow to hate my mother for not letting me go. I despise myself for constantly complaining. I hate myself for being so selfish because I’m only thinking of myself if I go, but if I don’t go, I know I’ll regret it.
Something’s calling me to be out there…I feel a strong pull.
I have enough being inside a safe bubble and want to spread my wings because I’m old enough (I’m such a late bloomer) to know the need for adventures, for storms, for tsunamis (Rain on me!) and yes, for lemons too because it keeps life interesting and REAL.
So, don’t envy people who have “an easy” life like mine, because honestly, we envy you. You who have been through so much. We envy your strength, your motivation, your memories and your wisdom. We are secretly ashamed of ourselves because of our petty worries. We aspire to be like you.
Hopefully, dear readers, maybe a year from now I can write my new adventures. Perhaps I found my way out of the labyrinth or took a leap of faith out of the woods or even finally feel just contented of where I am, but right now, I’ll stay home safely as we ride this pandemic out together.
How about you, have ever you felt this way? (or am I just one of the privileged Karens?)
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